Tensai no Monogatari

For the past several months (possibly the past year) the whole concept of personal potential has been popping up in my thoughts quite frequently. I'm not really sure why it started to come up so often, whether it was church, scouts, work, soccer, our new house, or just my own disorganized mind that started bringing it up, but here it is. It's most likely a combination of all of those sources, each one refreshing the idea whenever it came up.

Shortly after I arrived in Japan, I started to realize that I had been given a lot in life. A great family including two wonderful parents and some okay siblings (just kidding, you guys are great too!), a good education, a chance to go to college and have it almost entirely paid for by someone who is not me (scholarships are great). I was well aware that not everyone gets those same opportunities, but it really started to hit me how much I had while I was on my mission.

But it didn't end there. Once I came home Erin and I pseudo-dated (Possibly an inside joke there? -Editor.) until we were married in August, 2002. While we were dating and since we've been married she has been and continues to be one of my greatest sources of inspiration, motivation, strength, and support. I continued going to school and finished of my engineering degree with a Japanese minor, and even got a chance to continue on with a masters (and still have it paid for by someone who is not me).

Since moving to Austin for my new job here at ARL, Erin has found a job that she enjoys working at, and we've been able to save some money to put towards some of our long-term goals. We've also been able to buy a new (to us anyway) house, and adopt and train a new puppy.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not pretending that all of this just fell into place. It has taken a lot of work and effort to make it to this point. I've definitely had some challenges of my own during this journey. And Erin and I have certainly had some obstacles we've had to and continue to work at. But all-in-all, things are going okay. I hope there is still some room for improvement. In fact, I think that very fact is why I'm writing this.

Looking back on everything, you start to understand that where much is given, much is required. At some point after moving to Austin, I started questioning my own potential. Not that I think my potential is limited in any way. I just started to wonder whether I had really been living up to my own potential. I'm fairly certain the answer is no.

Several months ago I was asked to work with the Young Men's group in our ward and was also called as the Assistant Scout Master. It has been interesting to watch some of these boys work to pass off various requirements for scouts or put together talks/lessons for church. They're good kids, without exception. That being said, it doesn't take long to notice that some of them are much more conscious of how they use their time, and what is important in life.

The other Young Men's and Scouts leaders I work with are also, without exception, great men. I often think the term the least of these my brotheren describes me pretty well, when we're in meetings. That thought comes up a lot with my co-workers at ARL too.

Again, don't misunderstand me. I'm not trying to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm not. I think its valid and necessary to recognize traits in other people that make us want to do more, work harder, and be better, than we are today. And that is where this is really coming from.

Erin and I recently decided that our 6-month hiatus from working on our house was over. We've started setting, and accomplishing, well defined goals. (One exciting note, we've recently finished painting the stairwell and upstairs loft area. Maybe sometime in the not-to-distant future Erin or I will post some before/after pictures.) While it has been hard work, and at times frustrating to have nearly every minute of every day of the week filled, it feels good to realize that the time was used well. I think I need to take that approach more in other areas of life too. I've always had goals, but I can definitely use them more effectively to make better use of my time.

A very wise person passed this quote to me before Erin and I moved to Austin, when I was having some serious doubts about whether or not I wanted to accept this job at ARL.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. -Nelson Mandela

Another quote that comes to mind...

Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing. -Thomas Jefferson

Our individual potential is a great thing. I'm sure I still don't realize the extent of it. I know that I'm not the best I can be, but I also know what direction I need to go.

And thus it is.